


just friends

by gagates



Category: Grace and Frankie (TV)
Genre: F/F, Post-Season/Series 05, angsty with an happy end, frankies pov
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-30
Updated: 2019-12-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:35:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22039402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gagates/pseuds/gagates
Summary: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ES192HO-LLIHEARTACHE FEEDS HEARTACHE SONGTEXTI Look To The RightI Look To The RightAnd I See Your Face Turning,Turning RoundAnd I See Your LipsTurning, Turning RoundAnd I See Your Eyes Turning, Turning RoundAnd I See You TurningHeartache Feeds Heartache Heartache Feeds HeartacheI Stand In The LightI Stand In The LightAnd I See Your Face Turning, Turning RoundAnd I See Your LipsTurning, Turning RoundAnd I See Your Eyes Turning, Turning RoundAnd I See You TurningHeartache Feeds Heartache Heartache Feeds HeartacheI Fell In LoveI Fell In LoveAnd I See Your Face Turning, Turning RoundAnd I See Your Lips Turning, Turning RoundAnd I See Your Eyes Turning, Turning RoundAnd I See You TurningHeartache Feeds Heartache Heartache Feeds Heartache
Relationships: Frankie Bergstein & Grace Hanson, Frankie Bergstein/Grace Hanson
Kudos: 14





	just friends

**Author's Note:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ES192HO-LLI
> 
> HEARTACHE FEEDS HEARTACHE SONGTEXT  
> I Look To The Right  
> I Look To The Right  
> And I See Your Face Turning,  
> Turning Round  
> And I See Your Lips  
> Turning, Turning Round  
> And I See Your Eyes Turning, Turning Round  
> And I See You Turning  
> Heartache Feeds Heartache Heartache Feeds Heartache  
> I Stand In The Light  
> I Stand In The Light  
> And I See Your Face Turning, Turning Round
> 
> And I See Your Lips  
> Turning, Turning Round  
> And I See Your Eyes Turning, Turning Round  
> And I See You Turning  
> Heartache Feeds Heartache Heartache Feeds Heartache  
> I Fell In Love  
> I Fell In Love  
> And I See Your Face Turning, Turning Round  
> And I See Your Lips Turning, Turning Round  
> And I See Your Eyes Turning, Turning Round  
> And I See You Turning  
> Heartache Feeds Heartache Heartache Feeds Heartache

Silence fell over the beach. Heavy, hard to disrupt. Frankie hardly could see anything because of the tears. Everything turned gray or maybe just for her. Didn't matter, didn't bother her. Her best friend was a newly wed. How wunderful. Shouldn't she look happier. Better not look at her. Sand trickled through her fingers. So many thoughts, feelings, her eyes so sad. "We're still friends?" "If you want..." Both voices raspy, both uncertain, if they want to hear the answer. There could be a no. This No pending over them, everytime some guy came into the scene. How many times could they say yes to each other? 

"I have to go, I'm sorry. I think, it's better if you go back to him. He will miss you." Very much thought Frankie sarcastically. Her wounds cried for help. This wasn't right. She should be happy too. Why the fuck did this hurt so much. One clear thought. Frankie stood up, avoiding Grace. Who let her hand helplessly fall. No hugging. This was a break up. All the way back to the beach house, Frankie tried to get an answer why she was so hurt. She went into her studio, closing the door carefully. Weed certainly couldn't help her. Sleeping neither. If she had these feelings because of a guy, the first thing she would do, would be talking to Grace. Graces voice went through her head. Babe, oh Babe. You helped Grace the last time, I'm afraid you can't help me now. A bottle of wine. Candles. Music. Sad, sad music. 

Frankie woke up, instantly hit with headache. She better write all the thoughts down, to get through this terrible knot of feelings. Searching for her journal, Frankie ignored her phone. Probably Grace. Hopefully Grace. Hopefully someone else. She found it between two art books. It was not something she did very often, the last time, when she was in Santa Fe. Where to begin. The beach. There is a whole world in you. Broken now. How to mend, when nothing was left. She weathered the break up with Sol. Why did this feel like something was broken, if she didn't know what the fuck was broken. They were still friends. What else to destroy. Why destroy friendship with marriage? 

Friends don't feel devastated, when the other one says, she got married. Friends don't schedule big kisses on the mouth. Friends don't ask if they want to have sex. Friends don't say wife. No good night kisses on the forehead. Friends don't do these things, right? Frankie knew she had hit the core. She, maybe they, had to examine, if they were friends indeed. But the lines were so blurry with Grace. Grace would have said no. Really, asked Frankie herself. This wasn't the old Grace anymore. She blurried the lines too. Let it happen, did ask. Gave her the forehead kiss to say good night. Who wanted her back from Santa Fe. Grace married Nick, hello? But if they weren't friends anymore, what were they indeed? Frankie closed her journal with a sigh. She didn't want to answer this question today. Maybe not in the next days. Maybe never if Grace came back. If she wanted Grace to come back. Come home. 

Finally looking at her phone, Frankie thought for a second if she should delete Graces texts. But she opened them. Thank god, they were short. One with "hope, you are ok, good night" and one with "hope, you catched some sleep, call, if you want." No calling for now. She didn't want Grace fighting with Nick because of her. She didn't want deal with it. Jacob came into her mind. The next minute she called him. "What a pleasant surprise. Isn't Grace there?" Frankie could hear how cautious Jacob was. Not eagerly excited. "Grace married Nick." "Oh. Congratulations." "Yeah..." "Yeah." "What are your plans for the weekend? Hunting?" "No-" "Can I come?" "Sounds desperate." A deep sigh came out. "I am desperate." "I still think about you from time to time." "There was something between us." "Yes." "Maybe we broke up too soon." "I think, it was rather because there were three in this relationship." This stinged. "Not anymore. So can I come? I would really appreciate it." "Be my guest."

The music was almost too loud, but it kept her thoughts to a bearable minimum. Frankie was on her way to Jacob. The last time she went by train to Jacob, Grace said good bye. Grace who tried to halt her tears. Maybe she needed the second chance. Like Grace at marriage. Then the image Grace waiting with roses at the train station hit her. Tears welled up. She couldn't escape her. There were still three in this relationship. 

If there was something to do, Frankie did it. Until her hands trembled. She did hard work. She had no ideas what to paint, she had left her art paraphernalia behind. She wanted to fall in love with him. For sure this time. She had to. Until Jacob stood one day on the porch and watched the sun go down. "You know-" He turned around. "It doesn't work that way." Frankie sat on the bench and looked up. "I see you, I see how hard you try. But you can't fall in love with me again. And frankly, I don't want to either." "Do you want me to go?" 

When Frankie went to bed this night, she tought to herself, that Grace wont be waiting for her at home this time. She will never be there with roses at the train station. With tears in her eyes she dared to ask herself for the first time, if she was in love with Grace. 

Memories came back. Them sitting at the pool, Graces head on her shoulder, how happy they were about Frankie coming home from Santa Fe. The stars over them, the sound of the ocean, the light breeze. Was she in love with her at that moment? When she woke up the first time in Graces bed, smelling the scent, feeling the warmth, was she in love there too? Her blue eyes, always reminding her of the ocean, of home, is this love? Coming back to sleep in Graces bed, taking a picture of Grace sleeping in her studio, this too? Her voice, her slender figure, wanting to touch, being happy about being touched by her, dreaming of her lips? The longer she thought about it, the stronger became the longing. Until she had to say yes. 

Frankie left Jacob the next day. 

"You wanted me to come over to talk. So here I am." Grace stood nervously in the middle of the studio. Frankie had thought the whole train ride about, whether to say something or not. The longer the ride went, the more she was convinced, she had to tell her. If not, it would have worked herself into the ground. She had to stay true to herself, if she took the friendship seriously, she had to say it. If they stayed friends afterwards, good. If not, it would have been a clean cut and she would be able to overcome this. "Sit down. Please." Frankie couldn't stop fidgeting with her hair. "As you know, I was with Jacob over the last weeks. And I really, we really tried to fall in love again. But, and I have to tell you this, otherwise it always stand between us and would rot inside me, and it's really hard for me, and-" She looked Grace into the eyes. "It will be hard for you." "Go on..." "I'm in love with you. I don't know when I wasn't it love with you, but I wished you would be there waiting for me at the train station with roses, kissing me and that's the moment when I knew it." "Oh. Ok." Grace looked down. "I'm sorry. If you can't bear to be friends with me anymore, tell me, I'm okay with it." "This is- I just married Nick." "I know." Before Grace stood up, Frankie knew she would go.

Grace sat in the car, crying and smiling at the same time. She is in love with me. She had to say it out loud. Finally, she thought. Wait- why finally? But the next moment came and she dismissed the idea. I'm with Nick now, spinning the wedding band between her fingers. 

Days went by, yearning, sometimes knowing, that Grace would come back, sometimes accepting, that she wont come back. It hurt. Like hell. But she had to wait, until Grace responded. Then she could start wail.

Her phone rang, startleing her out of sleep. A text from Grace. Heaven and hell. She paced around some minutes before she could open it. When she did it, she knew she did the right thing. It was:

A little heart.

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this in one go after receiving some bad news and I had to deal with my sadness. So I wrote this and it helped.


End file.
